For years, I’ve maintained a semi-private blog known to only a few close friends and family that documented my struggles with life, demonstrating that I suffered from severe depression. Life has been hard for me up until very recently. This time last year, I started feeling better, feeling how I imagine “normal” must be, thanks to a special cocktail of medications that I will likely be on for the rest of my life. My dire (un)employment status and lack of direction dragged me down despite my medications. Finally, I’ve secured a “real” job and while I’m currently applying to other jobs (it’s just not a good fit for me though it seemed very promising when I accepted the position), I feel like a new person, like I’ve finally reached the summit of my goals and can start doing other things besides merely scraping by, surviving.
Appropriately, I’m starting a new blog to document this new stage of my life that I believe is leading towards a very bright future! With my fat paycheck (now almost doubled from what I was making before I got this job), I have the money to spare and am stress-free enough to get back to my hobbies which include art, sewing, cooking, and other DIY projects. I hope that starting this blog will help me stick with my newfound ability to pursue my creative passions as I can share my progress, both successes and failures, with a broader audience. Sharing my new life, building positive relationships, expressing myself creatively, these are all therapeutic in their own ways and I believe they will be highly beneficial to my personal emotional and mental health.
In the same vein as letting go of my old blog, I’ve been purging many things in my apartment that are directly tied to me being depressed. I’ve sold furniture and donated countless items (clothing, jewelry, trinkets, bits and bobs) to the thrift store in an effort to cleanse my environment of that negativity and release myself from feeling bogged down by stuff I’m not in love with. If you’re not in love with it, why keep it around? So I’m starting new, starting fresh, and trying to start with my own two hands. I’ve begun sewing my own clothes with moderate success, I have plans to build new furniture and repurpose flea market finds, I’ve pared down my belongings to only the things that I love *right now,* and I’ve carefully curated the blogs I follow to only include those that make me feel good and/or inspire me.
My grandmother gave me new dish towels for my birthday which is thrilling in itself because we’ve been using a burned christmas towel and a bathroom hand towel for the kitchen. But I’m also excited about these hand towels because they have set a new motto for me; one towel reads “Live a colorful life.” When I was depressed, I rarely embraced anything colorful. My wardrobe consisted of pale pinks, grays, whites, and various shades of blue. My furniture was primarily neutral in tone though I did favor red accents on occasion. Not bright red, but deep reds like wine. In retrospect, it’s like my life was on mute. Now my tastes favor the bright and bold, the colorful and lively. I want to embrace that energy and let it guide me into the future. I want to live a colorful life. Will you join me on this journey?